Tahu and Gali's Big Day
by Hikan
Summary: Tahu and Gali are getting married! However, Tahu’s half asleep, the best man’s locked in a closet and Gali is nowhere to be seen! Can the wedding go on despite all the interruptions? Rated M for language and alcohol use.
1. The Morning After

So it was on a Friday evening in January that I decided to try my luck at writing a comedy. Basically, Tahu and Gali are getting married, and all sorts of things go wrong. I'm not sure how this'll turn out, seeing as I've only written epics and songfics before. And please review, seeing as I'd like to find out what other people think. Anyways, here goes.

**Tahu and Gali's Big Day**

**Chapter One- The Morning After**

It was a beautiful day in Ta-Metru. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the smoke from the Great Furnace looked blacker than it ever had before. However, for a certain Toa of Fire, today was anything but beautiful.

-

Tahu woke groggily to the sound of the alarm clock by his bed. Mumbling something under his breath, he reached out blindly with one arm and managed to press the snooze button before the shrill beeps of the device got to him. And when things got to Tahu, they usually got set on fire.

Today, however, Tahu was too drunk to do anything, let alone torch an alarm clock. Last night, he and most of the guys had gone out. Kopaka had declined, claiming he was working on an ice sculpture or something like that, and so Tahu, Jaller, Kongu, Pohatu, Onua and Takanuva had headed into the Metru to a bar that Lewa had recommended. Knowing Lewa, Tahu had fully expected the place to be brightly coloured with flashing lights, but what he saw when he got there almost made him speechless.

-

**The night before...**

"A... karaoke bar?" Tahu stared in disbelief at the neon sign in the window. Lewa (who had tagged along too, now that he remembered it) chuckled.

"Oh, come on Tahu!" he said, flashing the Toa of Fire one of his smiles. "It's your last night of freedom from Gali, and what better way to spend it than singing your heart out to outdated pop songs?"

His smile broadened. "Come on, you know you wanna." Tahu finally sighed, and let Lewa lead him and the others into the bar. As they entered, Jaller turned to Onua in confusion.

"I thought we were going to the one ACROSS the street," he muttered, gesturing to a bar on the other side of the road whose windows emanated red and pink light and in front of which a very long lineup of male Matoran stood, pushing each other to get in.

"So did I, kid," said Onua regretfully. His one chance to have a little fun, and Lewa had to go and ruin it by bringing them to a _karaoke bar_, of all places.

"Nonsense!" The two whirled around to see Lewa standing there, arms crossed. "We couldn't go into that one, seeing as we have two young Matoran in the party. Well, three, because Taka counts."

"Hey!" exclaimed the Toa of Light irritably from behind them.

Lewa shrugged. "Anyways, that bar is for next time. When it's just the Toa."

"If there IS a next time, that is," he muttered under his breath. "What with Tahu and Gali and all..." Lewa shook his head. "But who cares? Come on!"

And with that, he dragged Jaller over to the actual bar and plopped him on a barstool.

"One Midnight Screamer for my friend here, please," he said cheerfully to the Po-Matoran bartender.

"Midnight Screamer?" asked Jaller, eyes wide. Lewa chuckled. "Don't worry, you'll love it. Now hurry up and drink. Other people wanna get drunk too, ya know."

Jaller looked down as the bartender slid a glass filled with an ominous blue liquid inside it to him. Without hesitating, he gulped it down...

And promptly fell onto the floor, gasping in pain.

The bartender shook his head. "Stupid kid. He shoulda known to take small sips first..." Wincing at the sound of Jaller screaming, he turned his head towards Pohatu, who was just approaching the bar.

"What can I get you?" he asked the Toa of Stone. Pohatu scrutinized the menu, half-hidden in the blue light of the bar. "I'll have a Day Tripper, please."

The bartender grinned as he slid the pale yellow concoction over to Pohatu, who downed it in one gulp.

"Mmm," he said, smacking his lips and placing the glass on the counter. "That's good stuff. Can you get me another one?"

"Sure thing," said the bartender as he prepared another one and handed it to the Toa of Stone, who drank it immediately.

Meanwhile, Lewa was eyeing Tahu, who was sitting at a table with arms crossed being his usual angry self. The Toa of Air grinned and approached him.

"Hey Tahu. How are—"

Tahu grabbed Lewa's arm, twisting it painfully. "What the hell is this place, Airboy?" he growled angrily. "You said we were going to the one across the street!"

"Yes, well," Lewa answered, trying to ignore the pain in his left arm, "once Jaller and Kongu decided to tag along we couldn't go there anymore. And besides, if I said they couldn't come, Gali and the others would know something was up!"

Tahu sighed and let go of Lewa's arm. "Fine, whatever. But promise me: The minute Jaller and Kongu leave, we're going across the street, alright?"

Lewa nodded. "Promise. But at least let me get you a drink, okay?"

Tahu nodded, at which Lewa grinned and shot off, returning with a dark red drink in a tall glass.

"Red Nocturne?" said Tahu, reading the vermilion letters on the side of the glass doubtfully.

"Just try it!" exclaimed Lewa as he pushed the drink towards Tahu. The Toa of Fire shrugged and took a sip, at which he sat back contentedly.

"That's actually quite good. What's in it?"

"Oh, you know," Lewa said, trying not to smile. "The usual stuff. Alcohol, red Bula Berry juice, crushed Nui-Rama wings..."

Tahu quickly spit onto the floor. "NUI-RAMA WINGS?!"

"It gives it an extra punch," said Lewa weakly as Tahu descended upon him, eyes flaring and sword in hand. "HOW DARE YOU-"

"Hey!" exclaimed the bartender. "If you want to fight, go somewhere else, you two. This is a KARAOKE bar, for crying out loud! We talk with our voices, not our fists."

"Or a chair," he hastily added upon seeing Tahu reach for the seat beside him. Lewa sighed in relief at this and dropped into the chair beside Tahu.

"So, Tahu, are you gonna finish that drink?" he asked calmly, at which the Toa of Fire shook his head. "Nah. I actually kind of like it."

The red-hued Toa took another sip and closed his eyes, blissfully unaware of the fact that Onua and Takanuva (both clearly drunk) were up on stage doing a rowdy rendition of "Life Is A Highway" and that Pohatu was laughing at everything Kongu said.

_Things could be worse,_ he mused as he contentedly sipped his beverage.

-

About an hour later, Jaller and Kongu left; Jaller because he had to see a doctor about the pain from his Midnight Screamer, and Kongu, well, Tahu really didn't know. Anyways, as soon as the two were gone, Lewa gave Tahu a hand signal and the two crept across the street into the other bar, the other Toa following them.

-

But what had happened next? Tahu searched his brain for concrete memories of the previous night, but all he could remember were flashes of pink and red, Pohatu sound asleep and snoring on a table, and Lewa excusing himself and coming back an hour later with his Miru on the wrong way.

Then Tahu remembered something. Last night had been the bachelor party. And if that had been the bachelor party, then today was...

"Oh shit," muttered Tahu as someone knocked on the door of his room and he went to answer it.

Today was the day he was getting married.

**---**

**Who's the mystery visitor? Find out next time on Tahu and Gali's Big Day!**


	2. Minty Drinks and Hangover Remedies

**Chapter Two- Minty Drinks and Hangover Remedies**

Tahu, seriously hungover, opened the door of his apartment to find Kopaka standing there. The Toa of Ice sniffed the air and smiled smugly.

"Looks like _someone's _been drinking."

"Shut up," hissed Tahu as one of his arms moved to punch Kopaka but unfortunately missed and smashed a light fixture instead. Kopaka smirked.

"Having trouble concentrating, Tahu? Still thinking about that girl you met last night... _Luna, _I believe her name was?"

"SHUT UP!" bellowed Tahu, at which Kopaka raised an eyebrow. "Anyways, I thought I'd drop by, seeing as-"

"Hold on." Tahu looked at his fellow Toa curiously. "How did you know about Luna?"

Kopaka snorted. "You didn't think I was carving ice sculptures _all night, _did you? Not soon after the rest of you entered the karaoke bar, _I _came in as well. You probably didn't notice me, seeing as the majority of you were either drunk or pissed off at Lewa."

The Toa of Ice shuddered as he recalled the events of last night...

-

**The night before...**

Kopaka entered the karaoke bar and headed over to the bartender. After ordering a drink called 'Snow White Queen' (that had, to his amusement, ice cubes dyed blue swirling within its frosty, minty depths), he headed over to a table towards the back of the room and sat down to watch Takanuva and Onua's drunken performance, for both entertainment and blackmail.

As soon as the two Toa finished a slurred, drunken rendition of some song that talked about life being a highway and riding it all night long (complete with some oddly suggestive hip movements by Takanuva), Takanuva started doing a very strange thing with his hands that Kopaka would later learn was called "beatboxing". Stepping up to the microphone, Onua began to sing in a low, slurred voice.

"_Uh huh, this my shit. All the girls stomp your feet like this. A few times I've been around that track. So it's not just gonna to happen like that. Because I ain't no hollaback girl. I ain't no hollaback girl. Oooh oooh, this my shit, this my shit. I heard that you were talking shit. And you didn't think that I would hear it. People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up. So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack. Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out. That's right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up. A few times I've been around that track. So it's not just gonna to happen like that. Because I ain't no hollaback girl. I ain't no hollaback girl. Oooh oooh, this my shit, this my shit..."_

Kopaka groaned and covered his ears. Besides the song being tasteless and utterly out of tune, it also had at least a million references to feces. He felt as though he was going to puke, which was luckily averted by the sight of Lewa and Tahu sneaking out the door.

_Huh? _The Toa of Ice thought to himself as he watched the two leave. Either they were fed up with Onua and Takanuva's antics, or,... well, he really didn't want to get into that.

Oh, wait. The others were following them. Kopaka breathed a sigh of relief, though the second option could have made for interesting blackmail. He quickly drank the rest of his Snow White Queen and quietly followed the group across the street, switching to his Huna so as to remain undetected.

Upon entering, he switched it off and leant against a wall, watching all the Toa flirt drunkenly with the attractive female Matoran that were walking around.

Well, minus Pohatu, who was on the table snoring.

He also saw Lewa leave, though he couldn't imagine what the Toa of Air was doing. After about an hour, as Kopaka was leaving, however, the Toa of Ice opened a side door and saw a truly horrific sight...

-

"Anyways," said Kopaka hastily, trying to banish what he had seen next from his mind, "I've come to help you with your hangover. You can't walk down the aisle, let alone be seen in public in this state!"

Tahu nodded. "Uh, sure, I guess. What do we do?"

Kopaka pursed his lips. "Well, we need an icepack, for starters. Gali lives right across the hall, right?" Seeing Tahu nod, Kopaka grinned. "Good. Wait here, I'll be back in a moment."

The Toa of Ice crept across the hall and entered Gali's apartment by freezing the doorknob and then chopping it off with his ice blade. To his surprise, it was empty.

"She must have gone out already," he muttered.

Upon entering, he headed to the kitchen and filled up the sink, freezing it to create an ice block and then crushing it.

Now that part of the icepack had been created, all Kopaka needed was something to wrap the crushed ice in. Seeing a big, white piece of fabric that resembled bandages laid out on the couch in the living room, the Toa of Ice grabbed it and wrapped it around the crushed ice, then quickly left.

Upon returning to Tahu's apartment, Kopaka handed the makeshift icepack to the Toa of Fire, who placed it on his forehead and promptly left for the wedding hall with Kopaka following suit.

-

Fifteen minutes later, Gali woke from her peaceful slumber and headed into the living room. She wanted to try her wedding dress on again before the wedding (seeing as she'd left it out last night after trying it on) and decided to do it as soon as she woke up.

However, as Gali entered the living room, her eyes widened as she saw the couch, evidently missing one thing...

"WHERE'S MY DRESS?" she screamed.

---

**Oh boy, Gali's really mad now... The song sung by Onua is "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani, to let all of you know.**


	3. Little OffWhite Chapel of Love

**Chapter Three: Little Off-White Chapel of Love**

It took Tahu and Kopaka just over an hour to get to the wedding hall, as Tahu had left actually _finding _the venue a little bit to the last minute and had had to settle, rather begrudgingly, for the only location that still had a slot (well, _all _of its slots, actually) open – which had the additional advantage of being on the other side of the city.

"Are you sure this is the place?" Kopaka asked as he parked his silvery Metru luxury car on a rather run-down street and glanced at the graffitied brick walls that bordered a small, off-white building to their right. "It looks a little, well, _unconventional._"

"Nonsense!" Tahu said, climbing out of the Metru, followed by the Toa of Ice. "It's perfect. Wait till you get inside. Nice car, by the way. Didn't know a Metru was in your price range."

Kopaka shrugged. "Ice sculptures are in vogue. Shall we go in?"

--

The first thing the two Toa saw— and anyone saw, really— was an enormous neon-hued banner hanging over the nondescript lobby as they went in. Tahu craned his neck to read it.

_The_

_COMPARATIVELY PALATIAL,_

_COMPLETELY NON-DENOMINATIONAL_

_CHAPEL OF LOVE_

_(OR SOMETHING LIKE IT)_

Beyond the banner was a perplexingly long hallway lined with electric stained glass windows and further decorated by a series of banners in identical neon colours. They read:

_OPEN ALL DAY, EVERY DAY_

And:

_CHEQUES ACCEPTED_

_(ALTHOUGH WE'D PREFER CASH)_

And after that:

_(NO, REALLY, WE WOULD.)_

After what seemed like days, the two entered a room as equally non-descript as the lobby, complete with bright white lighting that would have seemed more at home in the office of a small corporation. Two rows of folding chairs were divided by a dirty red carpet that led to a table covered with a stained white tablecloth.

"I assume that's the altar," Kopaka said with just a hint of irony.

Tahu bit his lip. It had looked much nicer in the phone book.

"Hello there!" A Po-Matoran wearing street clothes entered the chapel from behind them. The two Toa turned around.

"I almost didn't notice you come in. My name's Alonzo. I'm the owner, operator and occasional security guard of the Chapel of Love. Can I help you two with something?"

Kopaka turned to Tahu and smirked. "I assume that's the priest."

"Yes," Tahu said, pushing the Toa of Ice aside. "I'm Tahu. I arranged for a wedding over the phone."

Alonzo eyed Kopaka. "Are you sure you want to go through with it? He seems a little… _stiff._"

"Oh, _I'm _not the one he's marrying," Kopaka said, his mask a little red. "He's marrying a woman."

"Ah!" Alonzo turned to Tahu. "So, where _is_ she, then?"

"Not here yet," the Toa of Fire said. "Speaking of which, can I—"

Something beeped, and Tahu turned away, flustered. It was his handheld communicator.

_Just great, _he thought, his heart sinking. _Something else has gone wrong, I bet._

While the Toa of Fire was off in a corner, Kopaka approached Alonzo with the air of someone for whom everything had gone exactly right.

"So, Alonzo, has this _always_ been a chapel?"

The Po-Matoran rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, uh, actually… you wouldn't believe this, but where you're standing now used to be an office."

Satisfied, Kopaka turned to give Tahu an _I told you so _look, but decided against it when Tahu's face seemed more panicked than irritated.

"We have to go," he said. "That was Onua. Something's happened with Lewa. I knew I shouldn't have picked my best man because he beat me at poker…"

"Do we know what happened?"

"Sort of. I'll tell you more when we get there."

He turned to Alonzo. "I am _so sorry, _but we have to go. Nobody else has booked a wedding for today, right?"

Alonzo nodded.

"Great. Keep the place open for us, will you? We'll be back later."

_Lewa in trouble? _Kopaka thought, left brow arched, as he left the chapel. _Considering what happened last night, I'm not surprised._

The two Toa slipped into the Metru and sped off.


End file.
